An apple a day...doesn't keep Mama away!

Yes it's true, I love to take pictures of my boy. A little too much. I won't even let him eat an apple in peace!! Holden adores apples. He's even been calling them by a name, though it doesn't quite sound like apple, but he's trying!

Pretty much anything Holden does is picture worthy in my book. So it wouldn't come as a surprise that I had to take 324554 pictures while he enjoyed his tasty, granny smith apple. Lucky for you I narrowed it down to five.;)

Fun Summer Days...

Today we took Holden to the Legacy Play Village. Holden had so much fun. This is a picture of the main play structure there- a castle. It is HUGE.


We stayed for nearly an hour. Would of stayed longer but it was very very hot. Holden didn't mind though..

Here he is looking out of a window.


Posing!


I promise we put sunscreen on him!!


We came home and Holden took a very long nap- 3 1/2 hours. He was in a super good mood when he woke up, just in time for dinner.

Riding in Style (and Safely too!!)

Holden's new carseat came last week. It is the coolest and safest seat EVER. I had been pining over it for a few months. With Holden getting close to 40 lbs. (his old seat's weight limit), I decided to bite the bullet. He still has 8 lbs. to go until he reaches 40, but I just couldn't wait.

What first sparked my interest in the Britax Regent was this video. It's about a little boy named Kyle, who was taken from this world (much too soon) because his seat belt failed when his family's car was in an accident. He was 3 years old and over the weight limit of most carseats. He was riding in a booster seat. His family didn't know that a child of his size could still be in a 5 pt. harness. I cried for a long time after watching this video. It's so horrible that this happened to Kyle. It could happen to any child. Thankfully his parents had the strength to make sure his death wasn't in vain. They made this video and have a website that talks about the importance of a 5 pt. harness.

I urge any parent that sees this to keep your child in a 5 point harness until they are 80 lbs.

Here is Holden in his seat:

Fourth of July Pictures!

Holden fell asleep on the way.. He was tired because he didn't take his nap.


Clinging on to Daddy. He was scared at first.


Me and Holden chilling in the back of the Jeep.


Daddy and Holden..


Me and Matt.. gosh I look awful.


All 3 of us


Pictures of the fireworks didn't go too well. Next year I need to read up on how to take a good firework picture. My camera has a setting for fireworks but it didn't help any.

Underexposed


Overexposed


Holden in awe of the fireworks.


Holden with my sister, Tiffany.



I hope everyone had a Happy Fourth of July!!!!

Happy Fourth... here's looking to next year!

On this Independence day, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Thinking about last year and the year to come. I don't think I was sick last year. If I was infected, I wasn't showing any symptoms. We went to 4th on Broadway last year and met up with Angie, Eddie, and the kids. Afterwards we went to Cotton Patch. Then we came back to our house where Matt & Eddie cleaned out the pool while the rest of us hung out.

I was pregnant then. Though the baby was already gone.:-( I was almost 12 weeks and when I had my m/c the baby only measured 8 weeks. I started miscarrying the night of July 5th.

Next year I'm hopeful that my string of bad luck will be gone. It seems crazy that in one year I tragically lost my dog, had a miscarriage, and contracted Lyme Disease. Maybe the Lyme made me miscarry? I don't know..

Anyway, here is looking to next year. I'm confident things will be so much better then.

Later tonight we are going to go see the firework show. I'm super excited about that. Holden is going to love it!!!

I promise my next entry on this blog won't be depressing lol.. I will post pictures of our time tonight.

New Blog

I decided to start a new blog about my experience with Lyme Disease. I wanted it to be seperate from this blog. If you want to visit it please click here.

Thanks!

I have Lyme Disease.

Is that not the craziest thing ever? I never in a million years would think this could happen. Looking back all my weird symptoms now make sense. In a way I feel relieved to have a diagnosis. Now I know why I feel like this. Now I just need to get better! I hope I can overcome this.

I feel like writing out what's been going on with me, just so I can see how this all progressed. I still feel shocked.

I remember getting bit by a tick. I don't know exactly when it happpened. I just know that we were living in our new house so it had to be at least May.

August~ I had my first lightheaded episode. Me, Matt, and Holden were at the Mall and I had to sit down because I thought I was going to faint.

August~ While Matt was in Austin for that week, I had the worst cold ever. Looking back I think this was the flu-like symptoms that are associated with Early Lyme.

September-December I felt fine.

The end of December I did feel lightheaded. We were at Sears buying a camera and I kept having to stop to rest.

January is when it started getting worse. I felt weak, tired, and lightheaded.

Then in March I had really bad back spasms that lasted for a nearly a week. After that my back still ached.

April is when the scary stuff started. I had weird heart palpatations. It started with at tacychardia episode. One night I was just sitting down, putting Holden's shoes on and my heart started beating out of my chest. It lasted all evening. My chest hurt because my heart was beating so hard and fast.

I finally went to the doctor. He said everything was fine and referred me a a Cardiologist. It took so long to get the referral that I finally went to a different doctor. He said I had heartburn. At that time my prominent symptom was chest pain. I doubted that diagnosis, but decided to take some anti-acid. It didn't help.

I finally got in to see the Cardiologist. He set me up with a heart monitor and scheduled an ECG. At this time, I had researched my symptoms a lot and kept coming up with Lyme Disease. I knew it was unlikely but had to take the test to be sure.

I found a doctor that knew about Lyme Disease. When I had mentioned getting bit by a tick to another doctor that I had seen, he brushed it off. I felt crazy for even mentioning it.

I went to the Lyme Doctor and got the test. I had to pay out of pocket because the insurance didn't cover it. It cost $245 (ouch!)

Last night is when I got the call about the results. I answered the phone totally expecting to hear that it was negative. I can't even explain my shock when the nurse told me "...and it's Postive". She even said it was the most positive test he had ever seen and that my B12 was low.

So many thoughts have gone through my head since then. I have so many questions.

Does Holden have it?

What can I do?

Can I get better?

Is there going to be permanent damage?

As I sit here my chest hurts, my heart is beating weird. It's something I've become used to (sadly). I can't wait to be myself again. You don't understand. To be able to go to the store and not feel like I'm going to faint. It will be so wonderful. I'm trying to be hopeful about this but I'm scared too.

I hope by my birthday (Septmeber 26) that I'm better. That will be the best Birthday present ever.

Happy Father's Day!

Father's Day has been good. I made Matt breakfast. Then this evening we are going out to eat with my dad, sister, and brother.

Here are some pictures of my guys!

Matt enjoying the breakfast I made him.


Holden and his Daddy:

Saturday Adventures

This morning we decided we wanted to do something fun! We went to Old Mill Trade Days. It is basically a huge flea market with good food and entertainment. It is located in a small town called Post, about 35 miles away. I forgot my camera so I didn't get any pictures.:-( We had a good time. It was something different to do on a Saturday instead of the same ol' same ol'. We even found something for Holden's new camp-themed bedroom. An old rustic birdhouse. Sweet!

Holden was tuckered out by the time we got home. He is snoozing as I type. Matt just got finished spending over 2 hours doing yard work! He is exhausted.

Anyway, that was our day. :-)

My baby is growing up! He's transitioning into a bed!

Yesterday we went out and bought Holden a mattress set. We don't have his bed yet, but we're just going to put the mattress set on a frame for now. I don't know if I am ready for this transition, but dh thought we should give it a shot. We bought a full sized set because Holden moves around a lot.

Last night we gave it a go and Holden did great! He went to sleep pretty quickly and slept all through the night. He didn't wake up until after 9. I went in his room and took pictures of him, but it didn't wake him.





After a while..I heard a tiny knock on his door. He had a huge smile on his face when I opened it. (We put one of those child proof knobs on the inside of his door. I don't want him roaming the house in the middle of the night!)

Nap didn't go as well, but we'll get there! It took about 1 1/2 hours for him to settle down for his nap. I wasn't here. I was at the doctor getting an ecg. Holden was still "talking" when I came home. Soon after it got quiet so I thought I'd check in. First I looked under the door to make sure he wasn't in front of it. Sure enough he was! He had fallen asleep on the floor right in front of the door.


I can't believe my baby is out of crib. This came too soon!

I have a little fish on my hands.

Holden loves water. He has always loved his bath (well alway minus the newborn phase, lol). Lately we've been taken him swimming at my sister's apartment. He loves that. See him and his Daddy having fun.


This Saturday we purchased one of those easy set pools. We set it up this afternoon. Holden couldn't wait to get in LITERALLY.


We all had a great time in the pool. It was a little cold, but we got used to it. Hopefully the sun's rays will warm it up pretty good for next time!

Let me end with a couple more pictures.

It's been one year...

Since I tragically lost my sweet dog, Toby. On May 24, 2006 he was hit by a car. I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about it. He shouldn't of left this world like that.. not my Toby. He should of died peacefully in his sleep when he was much much older. He should of grown up with Holden. There should of been so many more days with him. More belly rubs. More sitting under the computer desk, keepig my feet warm, lol. More cuddling in bed with me. It's just not fair.

He was such a great dog in so many ways. Sometimes I get scared that I'm starting to forget about him. You know how all dogs have little quirks that make them different from other dogs. I sometimes have to strain to remember his. Why does time do this? I still remember a lot but it feels like it's getting foggier. I remember how he had this excited cry sound that he would make when we would come home. He always missed us so much when we were gone. He loved us just like we loved him. You could tell.

Oh Toby... why why why did you get out of the backyard that day? I wish this had not happened. I wish you were here with us still.

I know that you would not want us to be sad. So I will try not to cry too much when I think about you. I can say it has gotten a little better. Right after you left us all I did was cry... now I have gone on with my life. Sometimes I can even smile when I think about you instead of just feeling sad. However unlike the saying goes, Time does not heal all wounds.

I will never forget you. I love you Toby Bear!!!!!!!

Let's remember the good times--







p.s. I know some people wouldn't understand how a person could get so worked up over a dog. However for those of you who have a dog as special as Toby is to me (still find it hard to say was) ,you can relate.

Hard Day... but worth it!

Today was the day Holden was having surgery to get tubes. I started out the day with knots in my stomach. I woke up at 7am because I was so nervous. I went to wake Holden around 8:30. He was peacefully sleeping.


We went to the hospital, registered, and got a room. Poor baby had no idea what was to come.. He was just chillin' while watching Dora.


After a while they took us to the OR holding area. Here they gave Holden some medicine to calm his nerves and make him drowsy. Soon after he started acting drunk. It was so crazy.

Then they took him. It was so hard watching them wheel him off. We went to the cafeteria to try to pass some time. The doctor had told us it would take approx. 30 minutes. After the cafeteria, we went to the waiting room. The wait was so incredibly difficult. Soon 30 minutes came and went. Then 35... then 40... by the time it had been 45 minutes I was getting so anxious. I kept thinking 'something must of gone wrong'. Finally Holden's doctor came into the waiting room. He said the surgery went GREAT! A flood of relief rushed over me. He said the hearing test they performed while he was still asleep showed that his hearing was perfectly normal. I asked him how much fluid was in his ears and he said a lot. It really made me feel like we made the right decision. He said he could tell the fluid hadn't been sitting in the ears because there wasn't any mucuous, but that it probably came and went.


The most difficult part is, exactly what everyone told me would be, seeing him afterwards. We met him in the PACU (Post Anesthesia Care Unit). When we walked in, I immediately saw him behind the first curtain. I ran over there and saw that he had been crying. The nurse said he had just woke up. He was very upset. He looked flushed. He cried for about 20 minutes straight. It was heartbreaking. Normally if he's upset I can hold him my arms and he is better. Not this time. He got so upset, at one point, that he ripped out everything he was connected to (the iv, arm cuff, pulse ox.) After a while the nurse brought a t.v. and we watched Toy Story. She also gave him a popsicle. These things helped TREMENDOUSLY.

He had to be observed for about 1 1/2 hours or so. With the exception of the first 20 minutes after surgery, he has been in a GREAT mood.

I am very relieved to have this day behind us. Hopefully this surgery will greatly improve his speech!

Tomorrow Holden is having surgery...

At 10:00 tomorrow morning Holden is getting tubes put in his ears. He's been having a lot of fluid sitting in his ears, the doctor thinks that is why his speech is delayed. I'm a little nervous. I know it's a common procedure and it is very quick... but still any kind of surgery is a little nerve wracking. Please pray that everything goes okay!

Tag, I'm it!

My friend, Mandy, tagged me. I don't know if I know 7 other bloggers to tag.. Oh well first, here are some wierd things about me!

1) I like club crackers dipped in applesauce.

2) I sometimes pull my hair... I'm getting better though!

3) My pinky toe on my left foot grows up instead of out.. lol. It's freaky!

4) On my shoulder, I have 3 freckles that connect to form a triangle.

5) I'm a google addict. I visit it multiple times a day.:-)

6) I have OCD when it comes to locking doors. At night I check the front door a few times before I can go to bed.

7) I cannot wink or whistle.


Okay, now I am going to tag some friends... let's see..

Keara, Jessica (Tater's mom), Yan, Amanda, Julie, Karen, and Sara (Logan's Mom)

I don't know how many of you read my blog.. I guess we'll see.:-)

Holden and his Cousins!

This weekend Angie, Taylor, and Jesse were in town. We didn't get to see much of them, but tonight they came for dinner. Holden had fun playing with his cousins! There was a funny moment when Taylor and Holden were playing. I went into the playroom and saw Holden and Taylor laying on the air bed. She told me, "We're playing house." She said she was putting Holden to sleep. I said, "Oh, so he's your baby?" She said, "No... You know how my Mom has my Dad? That's what Holden is." I chuckled a little and said, "Oh, he's your husband?" Taylor nodded her head.

Jesse and Holden had fun together too. They thought it was great fun to put on mine and Uncle Matt's shoes. :-)

Weird Health Issues:-(

I've been having some weird health problems. It started way back in January. Out of nowhere I started feeling very lightheaded. I worked at the daycare back then and it was really scary because I felt like I was going to faint constantly. It sort of went away so I never went to the doctor. I kept on having periods of feeling lightheaded, but they didn't last long so I still didn't go to the doctor.

Then at the end of March I started having weird heartbeats. One night I was just sitting and my heart started pounding out of my chest. Matt counted how fast it was beating and it was beating over 100 bpm... and this was just sitting down! It did that for like 3 hours straight. My chest was hurting so bad. It scared the crap out of me. That was on a Saturday. I decided that on Monday I would go see a dr. I felt better on Monday so I decided not to go to the doctor.

Well ever since then my heart keeps randomly skipping beats. And the feeling of fainting is getting bad. Finally I saw a doctor last Friday. I got blood work done, had a urinalysis, and an EKG. Everything was normal. The doctor said that he had to wait for my thryoid test results. Depending on what the results are he is probably going to refer me to a Cardiologist. So for now I must wait. I really hope I get over this soon... I haven't gone anywhere since Friday.. I'm so scared I'm going to faint.

Holden's first movie theater experience!!

This morning we went to see Meet the Robinson's. Holden did wonderful. He was moving around a lot during the previews, but once the movie started he settled down. It was a lot of fun!! Even Matt and I enjoyed the movie!:-)

Of course I had to take a picture!:-)

What I woke up to on Easter weekend!

It's a good thing we didn't have plans or I would probably be totally peeved. It's kind of pretty though, but I do hope it melts off soon. I'm SICK of cold weather. We live in Texas for pete's sake!!

Tornado!

We were coming home from Wal-mart, driving on the Loop when Matt saw this tornado! We were freaking out. We got home and took this picture from out backyard deck. It was quite a site.

It's Christmas Morning...

I'm up... too excited to sleep. It is 8 am. Holden and Matt are sound asleep.:-) My family is coming over to our house in a little bit. After we open up the presents under our tree it's off to their house. I'm going to take video and hopefully lots of pictures. (I can't find my camera cord to clear the memory.. hopefully it will show up.)

Last night we drove through Ransom Canyon to look at the lights. It was beautiful!! Holden loved all of the lights. He got so excited.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Long time since posting.

We are all doing good.. just busy. I'm working at one of the Early Learning centers and Holden is going to daycare there. It's working out pretty well. And the extra income is nice. Especially with Christmas and Holden's 2nd Birthday around the corner.

Holden is recovering from a pretty bad rash. When he first got it we thought it was an allergic reaction to the new detergent we used. Then we thought it was chicken pox. We went to the doctor and it turned out that it was a "drug reaction". Holden had been prescribed Augmentin to treat his double ear infection and pink eye. We stopped giving him Augmentin and have been giving him Benadryl twice a day.. and the rash is slowly going away.

The picture the the right is how the rash looked:

Well that's about all I guess. We are excited about Thanksgiving coming up. I get a 4 day weekend!!

-Lauren

Some Bad News

The evening of July 5th I started spotting. All day on Thursday (July 6th) I spotted. Around 8 pm I started bleeding heavily. We dropped Holden off at his Grandma and Grandpa's and me & Matt headed to the ER. 2 hours later I finally got a room. Matt wasn't allowed back with me though. They were just letting patients in because they were on tight security. I waited and waited and finally a doctor came to talk to me. He said it didn't look good. He told me they would take blood to check my hcg levels. I have a really bad needle phobia so I was really hoping they would let Matt back soon. I asked the doctor about it and he said he would tell the nurse to let him back. The charge nurse said absolutely no one could come back.:-(

The nurse came to draw my blood. She had issues finding my vein on the inside of my arm so she tried my hand. Blood started gushing everywhere. I couldn't look because I thought I was going to be sick, but I could feel blood running down my hand. After that fiasco, Matt was finally let back. We waited for what seemed forever, then the doctor came in to do a pelvic exam. He told me that my blood looked okay, but the hcg levels were lower than he would like. After the pelvic, I was wheeled to the next floor to have an ultrasound.

My heart was pounding so hard as we waited for the ob doctor. Before she did the ultrasound she wanted to do another pelvic. She said the er doctors usually are too afraid to take their time. She said my cervix was closed, which is good, but that there was a lot of blood clots. She took a lot of samples of the blood. I remember looking at her face and the nurse that was assissting. They looked concerned. I knew the outcome couldn't be good.

Now for the ultrasound. I was looking at the screen and at first I saw nothing. It looked empty. Then as she moved the wand some I saw a little blob-- much like what Holden looked like at the early ultrasounds. I was really excited. That quickly dispersed when I looked over at Matt. He had his head down. He looked really sad. The OB and nurse also looked somber. I looked closely at my baby and noticed it wasn't moving. I vaguely remembered Holden's early ultrasounds, but it started coming back to me. He was flashing around on his ultrasound. There was no movement on this one. No one said anything during the whole ultrasound. The OB took measurements of the baby and printed out pictures.

When she was finished she said, "It looks like there was a pregnancy there." The words 'looks like' and 'was' stuck out in my head. She told me that the baby was only measuring 8 weeks (I should of been around 12 weeks). She said there was no cardiac activity. My heart sank. It was the worst feeling ever. I felt so empty. I asked her what we do now. She said I could have a d&c or I could pass the baby naturally. I chose the latter.

I went back to the ER room to change. Me and Matt headed to Wal-Mart to pick up some pads-- the OB said there would be a lot of bleeding. It was 3 oclock in the morning by this time. I couldn't believe what had happened. I just couldn't. 2 days previous it was the 4th of July. Me, Matt, and Holden met up with Angie, Eddie, Taylor, and Jesse. We went to 4th on Broadway and had a great time. I remember seeing all of these other pregnant women. I remember feeling so happy. I was looking forward to feeling my baby move inside of me. I had an appointment scheduled for the 14th to have an ultrasound. I was so excited for that. I was hoping that just maybe they could tell me the gender of my baby. Now none of that will take place.:-(

On Friday I had a lot of contractions. It was really painful, but by 2 pm they had ceased. The next morning I woke up in a lot of pain. The contractions were much more intense. From about 7 in the morning until 4 I was having horrible contractions. I was in so much pain. I took motrin, but it did nothing. The contractions were coming about a minute apart. Every time one would hit I would scream in pain. Matt was really scared. He wanted to take me to the ER, but I was hesitant. I didn't know if I could handle the pain with all those people there. I knew the wait would be long. We finally went because I could not handle the pain anymore. I just wanted it to be over.

We dropped Holden off at Angie's and went to the ER. In the waiting room, I was in excruciating pain. When I would have a contraction I would lean into Matt. It took everything I had not to scream. After about 30 minutes, it was getting worse. During each contraction, I really didn't know how much more I could handle. I went to the bathroom. I was bleeding really bad. I was throwing up too. It was awful. Matt moved over to the chairs by the bathroom. I kept coming out to him and then the second I sat down I would run back to the bathroom. I had to scream. So, when I was in the bathroom I would scream. It's the only way I could handle the contractions. The blood started increasing even more and I was really scared. Each time I would go back and sit with Matt I would feel light headed.

At one point I sat down and immediately got back up. I was about to walk in to the bathroom when all of a sudden blood started gushing out of me. I could feel it through my pants. Immediately I felt a sense of relief. I sat down by Matt. I was feeling better. The pain had lessened to just a crampy feeling. It was much much much more tolerable. I stood up to let Matt look at my pants. I knew I had bled through and he confirmed it. Just then we were called back. They put me on a morphine drip. The doctor did a pelvic exam. A couple hours later an OB came in to do another exam. She used instruments to clean our my uterus. It was very painful. I guess I was sore from the contractions. She finally finished. I was given a prescription for doxycycline (an antibiotic) and cytotec (something to clean me out).

This whole ordeal has been the most painful thing I have gone through, both emotionally and physically. Me and Matt are very scared to have any more children. I guess we will wait a while until we feel more at ease, if that will ever happen.

Pictures of our House

Haven't updated in a while, so...

*We ended up buying a house. We closed on May 8th!! It's nice to be living in our own house.

*On May 16 I found out I'm pregnant. We are really excited. The baby will be due right around Holden's 2nd Birthday.

*On May 24th something really bad happened. In the early hours of that morning our 2 dogs managed to get out of the fence. The next day I found out that Toby (my 2 year old) was hit by a car. We found Chandler at the pound a few days later. We are completely devastated. Toby was our first dog together and we loved him very very much.

Well I guess that's about all. I better go. Holden is done with his lunch.

-Lauren

An Update.

Here's some new stuff that is going on:

*I no longer work at Convergys.

*We got a new car. It's a Jetta. (I'll show a picture on another post.)

*Holden walks everywhere now. He's sooooooo active.

*Holden got his first ear infection. Though it's only a "minor ear infection".

*Matt starts his new job on Monday.

*He's still going to work at UMC on the weekends...just until they can train someone. Which he found out from his boss that even though he'll only be working 2 days a week they have to show that he's working full time or they would have to hire someone right now....so he's going to use pto to cover the extra hours. Which is awesome because that means he'll be getting a full week's paycheck from UMC and his new job! Wahoo!

*We were thinking about purchasing a house, but we've decided to wait a little longer. We want to have a down payment saved up plus if we wait a little longer I will have more of a credit history. By then my credit card and the cars will be showing. So we're waiting.

Holden meets the Easter Bunny!

I was surprised because I thought he would cry, but he was just intrigued.

Happy Easter!

I know it's early, but oh well.

Matt got the job!

Friday he got a call from the man he interviewed with and he got the job!! Yay! We are so excited.

We've got a walker!!

Holden started walking March 7th. We were at Angie's having a barbeque. I guess with all the other kids walking around, Holden decided he wanted in on the action. Here's some video that we caught a couple days later.


Look at him go. Click here.

Me and Holden have the flu..:-(

I started getting sick on Valentine's Day. By the next day, I was feeling miserable. I was hoping Holden would be spared, but he started getting sick the night before last. He woke up constantly through out the night coughing. Poor Baby. I stayed home with him on Friday. Right now he's sleeping. He's pretty much slept all day. Hopefully we'll both start feeling better soon.

Just an update.

It's been a while since I've updated. I haven't had a lot of time because I just started back to work. I'm a customer rep. for Comcast High Speed Internet. Holden has been going to daycare 2 times a week. He seems to like it pretty well. He's in the baby room for now until he starts walking...then they will graduate him to the toddler room. He just turned 13 months and is still not walking! I'm not too worried though because I've read that if a baby is a good crawler, sometimes they will start to walk later in life. Holden crawls really well. He also cruises a lot. Sometimes he'll hold onto the walls just to get to place to place. Right now he's sleeping. I was supposed to be off today, but they offered me overtime so I took it. Since the daycare was closed, my mom watched Holdie. He didn't sleep very well at her house, so he was exhausted by the time we got home. Well, I better go. I'm about to start dinner. I'm hungry.